I have labored over this edition of the newsletter.
I’m on my fourth draft because each time I thought I had the message I realized it didn’t hit the mark and something was missing.
Each time, the story revolved around the same topic but I just couldn’t get it to line up. One draft was all over the place and another was more like a venting session. There was something under the surface but I couldn’t get to it.
As I sit here this morning in the quiet before the sun rises, I’m thinking about what it is that started this.
It started with a conversation I had a few weeks ago with a guy who is busting his tail and drowning in righteous, meaningful work while his coworkers and boss are content to let the train go off the tracks because it’s not “their” problem.
But it is their problem. It is a collective issue that threatens the entire team.
He is doing everything he can yet not a single person with the ability and mandate to help (ie another leader) has stepped up.
That really bothers me.
“Leaders” who don’t lead.
“Teammates” who crave their own comfort over helping another.
“Visionaries” who can’t see past their noses.
“Motivators” who wax eloquent about nothing that matters.
This has brought me back to an experience I had that knocked me down hard. For years.
I thought I had finally let it go but it still lingers.
Why?
Was it the feelings of betrayal? The hurt? Feeling like I was on an island? Questioning everything about my purpose at work and what I was doing?
Those might be a part of it but looking back this morning I believe the bigger issue is that I felt duped, and I hate that feeling.
Duped into believing that if I gave everything I had and expended myself completely, the job would make sense and all would be right.
I was deceived and that realization is tough to sit with.
But here’s the thing - I chose that mindset. No one forced it on me. I chose to believe the hype and the resulting self-narrative that told me to just work harder despite the fact that if I looked carefully, many of my days were spent running headfirst into a brick wall.
For what?
Optimistically speaking, maybe to share the thoughts with you.
Maybe the point of all this reflection is to ask:
What are you asking your work to give you, and is it something it can’t possibly provide?
If that stirs something in you, sit with it for a while. Or, if you’d rather not sit alone, let’s talk. I’m all in for you.
Dan
Founder, Leader First Coaching