Last December, my wife and I moved to a small town after decades of living in large cities. How we ended up here is a story for another day, but this has been a great adventure.
One of the biggest benefits of this particular house is that it sits on the edge of a lake. It has its own boat launch and boat dock but was missing a boat.
Earlier this summer we were able to get a boat and have made the most of it. Sometimes after work, instead of plopping down on the couch in front of the TV we go out for an hour or two to catch up and decompress.
Last Saturday morning we decided to go out for a few hours. I had gotten some good tips from local fishermen and was looking forward to getting in the “win” column after a few weeks of catching nothing but weeds and sticks.
It was a great morning and despite not having anything to show for my steadily improving casting skills it was great to be out.
After a few hours I gave up trying to catch anything and we decided to check out a different part of the lake that we had only traversed once. We liked what we’d seen before and decided to go back.
I checked the GPS and the water depth was more than enough. We were moving slow, just enjoying the day, when I saw a buoy in the middle of the water in this particular inlet. It cautioned the presence of shallow water and I eased barely to the right of the buoy.
From our perspective the buoy was in the middle and there were no arrows directing boaters to the right or the left. Either way, I’d take it slow.
As I stared at the GPS screen, I saw the depth drop from 10’ to 2’ in what seemed like a heartbeat. I felt the boat and outboard engine shudder and realized we had run right over an area of extremely shallow water that was not outlined on the chart. The engine stopped as we barely floated back into deeper water.
I looked back and saw things from an entirely different perspective that I couldn’t see from the original angle. The buoy was NOT in the center of the waterway. From that angle, it was easy to see that going right of the buoy was the incorrect option.
Take a breath. Nothing appeared broken. I started it up and moved us to deeper water to take another look at the engine. I trimmed the engine up and both of us agreed that there appeared to be zero damage.
It was likely a mound of mud and sediment that we ran over and not rock.
Whew. We certainly weren’t the first to do that and probably not the last.
One tends to be a tad paranoid with a new purchase so my initial angst felt justified. Satisfied, I tried to start the engine. Nothing. Tried again. Nothing. Tried a third time. Still nothing.
Within seconds my demeanor went from thankful and relieved to angry and very disappointed in myself.
I should have known better! I am not a novice and I can’t believe I just did that!
The old work self kicked in and I processed it like I was on the job. My brain raced. I would need to call the only guy I knew who had the ability to help us. IF he was available, it would take him an hour to get there. He’d have to tow us back which would take forever.
How much would that cost me? How much would we have to spend to fix what I had broken because of my stupidity? The thoughts just kept coming. Hammering myself.
I was not kind to myself and that exacerbated the situation. I could not think straight. My brain was racing.
I texted the guy who could help and as I waited for his response, I dejectedly looked down and noticed the throttle was engaged.
Hmmm. I must have left it in gear when I turned off the engine that last time.
You can’t start the engine when it’s in gear.
Sheepishly, I put it in neutral, turned the key, and it started right up, ready to continue our journey.
My wife asked me what I had done and with great embarrassment I described what happened.
She had already given me plenty of space when I was really frustrated and she extended even more grace by simply saying “well, you figured it out and everything is good.”
Off we went and we had a great rest of the day.
But oh boy, was I seriously reminded of something I often share with my clients. Sometimes the stress of a particular situation can have a very real impact on your ability to see what is actually happening. The negative self-narrative does nothing but exacerbate the issue.
That’s the lesson.
Having someone on the outside who can look objectively at what’s taking place and get you back to ground zero might be all you need to find a solution. Someone who’s not a part of that conversation going on inside your head. Someone who is focused on you, who can ask the questions you’re incapable of asking yourself at that time.
For us, we coined a new phrase that day that we’ve since used a few times. It’s rather simple but you might find it to be of value on your own journey.
“Put it in neutral.”
If this resonates with you, reply to this email and let me know. And if you know someone who could benefit from this lesson, encourage them to reach out. I’d be glad to help.
Dan
Founder, Leader First Coaching